Opinion: Look out for Rees-Mogg’s pantomime performance

A wet and challenging year draws to a close. We harvested the final load of our brassica crop on 29 November and, although the factory will be busy in the run-up to Christmas, our team on the farm can at least look forward to a quieter month or two making preparations for next year.

I, meanwhile, can draw comfort from the fact that we have outperformed our budget for the year.

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About the author

Matthew Naylor

Farmers Weekly Opinion writer

Matt Naylor is managing director of Naylor Flowers, growing 300ha of cut flowers in Lincolnshire for supermarkets. He is a director of Concordia, a charity that operates the Seasonal Worker Scheme, and was one of the founders of Agrespect, an initiative to drive equality, diversity and inclusion in agriculture.

Read more articles by Matthew Naylor

So for this column we can relax and turn our minds to the festivities. How many of you are heading to a pantomime? There are hundreds of productions up and down the country.

Who are you most looking forward to seeing?

Is it Lesley Joseph as the Evil Queen in Milton Keynes? Craig Revel Horwood playing Cinderella’s Wicked Stepmother in Wimbledon or Barry from EastEnders as Captain Hook in Portsmouth.

What about Christopher Biggins and Ashley Banjo in Snow White at Southampton’s Mayflower Theatre?

For me, hands down, this year’s standout pantomime villain has got to be Jacob Rees-Mogg, playing in Westminster. It really is the most wonderful, over-the-top performance.

He’s this toff character who’s always looking out for himself.

The joke is that he is so spoilt and privileged that he sees every situation from the wrong point of view.

I suppose he’s like a cross between Dick Dastardly and the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. And he wears these exquisite costumes, sort of like a Victorian undertaker.

Goodness knows what they spent on his wardrobe.

The best bit, though, is the script. He has hilarious lines such as: “We don’t need fruit pickers. If fruit can be grown more cheaply and more economically in foreign countries, we should import more fruit.” 

Oh no we shouldn’t, I found myself yelling at the radio.  

His delivery is admittedly hammy, with the patronising eyebrows and unctuous delivery, but it works. He’s the definitive baddie.

You would struggle to get away with such an extreme caricature at any other time of the year – it would be too absurd even for a children’s comedy – but for pantomime it’s perfect and gives the whole family someone to boo at.

I haven’t managed to find out who the actor is that plays him, but he’s definitely someone to watch out for; it’s the funniest thing I have seen for ages.

Without wanting to spoil the plot for you, there’s a magnificent scene where Jack’s beanstalk won’t grow because of the drought. The villagers all run out of food and get hungry.

As you would expect, the Rees-Mogg character is unsympathetic. Cue plenty more booing.

But when he goes back to his castle, Nanny serves him a pie made out of £50 notes and a decanter full of pound coins because his kitchen staff have also run out of food and drink. The look on his face is priceless.

The grand finale where Rees-Mogg loses his power in a village election is pure poetry. “Where’s my political career?” he says. It’s behind you, we scream.

The only sad thing is that, since it’s only showing on GB News, very few people will get to enjoy this pantomime before it inevitably comes to an end sometime in 2024.