Opinion: Truck theft sparks search for new farm vehicle
© Adobe Stock Imagine my surprise a few weeks ago to find that the farm truck was no longer where I thought I’d parked it in the yard.
After I’d twice checked that I hadn’t walked past it on the drive, locked it in the workshop, or even shut it in a potato store, I had to conclude that some delinquent had half-inched it overnight.
A review of CCTV confirmed my suspicions.
See also: Opinion – let’s hope there are farms left for vets to visit
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According to the NFU Mutual’s annual report, rural crime is estimated to cost over £52m a year. That’s well over £500 per farming business.
Others in the area were victims of quad bike, trailer, diesel and scrap thefts in the same week. There is a crime epidemic in some parts of the UK.
In my case, it turns out that Hiluxes of a certain vintage are hot to trot. What I’m about to say is, I think, such common knowledge that any balaclava fashionista will already know it.
But you can break one of the rear windows in a Hilux double-cab without setting off the alarm.
And because they have a stupid keyless entry system, once you’re in, it’s a relatively simple exercise with a few hundred quid’s worth of electrical wizardry to bypass the key fob altogether and drive away – through a hedge – as if started normally. Madness.
My truck was one of five pinched from the Spalding area that week, so the wrong’uns are clearly very organised.
Some were recovered, having been abandoned for a few days in odd locations – usually a spinney or woods – to let them “cool off” in case they have a working tracker fitted.
Others were found in old, abandoned farm buildings. Mine, unfortunately, remains at large.
Before any of this, I’d already had a staggering insurance renewal quote – up nearly £10,000 – which prompted me to take up the matter with my local dealer just a week prior to the theft.
While they didn’t admit there is a security problem with Hiluxes, they did fit a tracker free of charge (although a month on, the vehicle still hasn’t been located).
The only way round these security issues for Hilux owners, I’m told, is physical deterrent – steering wheel and pedal locks. Like going back to the1990s, then, for a vehicle that costs £40,000 new.
It’s only after your truck goes awol that you remember how much stuff you have in it. Quite a lot of tools, wellies, an iPod Classic loaded with the emo rock of 2007.
And in this particular case, half a pallet of cement in the back that I’d just spent £200 on. May their ears bleed from the sound of My Chemical Romance, and their gateposts forever lean at awkward angles.
Fortunately, and to their credit, the Mutual settled my claim within a few days, which enabled the procurement of a replacement.
But what to have next? I loved that Hilux, it was a proper rugged farm truck, although with no security fix another would basically be uninsurable.
Top of the list for me was something with an actual key made of actual metal that means few of them are stolen.
Basically, that means that if you want anything less than 10 years old, you’re stuck with the old shape VW.
And while I’d like to stress how unimportant this is to me as a 30-something male motorist, it also has the very minor advantage of being obscenely fast.
But if, on your travels, you happen to see a Hilux in smoking-jacket red with mis-matched mud flaps, please let me know. That was a good one.