Opinion: Middlemen set to benefit from Budget at farmers’ expense
© Adobe Stock I’d not sat and watched a Budget before, and won’t be making that mistake again.
I’d liken it to the world’s most boring horror film.
I knew exactly what was coming, and even had time to devour a pack of Viennese Swirls and doze off before the chancellor very calmly took out her knife and sliced up APR, and with it thousands of family businesses, before carrying on as if nothing had happened.
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As I sat in gobsmacked silence, trying to comprehend what this meant for me, my parents and ultimately my two children, I heard a noise in the distance.
It took a minute or two to work out what it was, then it dawned on me.
It was the unmistakeable sound of middlemen rubbing their hands together, knowing that farmers’ pain is inevitably their gain.
Consultants, financial advisers, solicitors, accountants and agents are going to be inundated with farmers looking for help protecting the assets it has taken many generations of hard graft to acquire.
Our family have always been happy to pay for the best advice available, especially when it comes to finances. This is no different.
The potential sums of money are staggering, and trying to navigate the legal minefields alone would be financial suicide.
While good advice is a great long-term investment, it still comes at a hefty price.
When they charge in 10-minute increments, you know it’s not going to be cheap.
This is just another unforeseen financial burden to chuck on the camel’s back.
Very few aspects of farming are free from the middleman.
The old adage that good businesses sell bullets and bandages seems particularly relevant when it comes to machinery dealerships.
We recently parted with a six-figure sum to get our hands on a new UK-built telehandler, which is now riddled with issues (that are obviously not covered by the warranty).
Of course, the only people who can fix the problems are the very ones who sold it to us in the first place. They also have the ability to charge whatever they feel.
You’ve got to hand it to them, it’s a cracking business model, but it has one major flaw… without a viable farming industry, there isn’t much demand for £500,000 combines.
I’ve been able to justify the long hours and significant financial risks that come with farming, because I’ve always known I get to hand down the farm to my children and the financial safety net that comes with it.
Take that away, and getting covered in muck while TB testing in mid-January or sitting through yet another audit seem even less appealing.
The government, along with all the many businesses linked to agriculture, must understand the well is running dry.
You cannot expect to keep adding financial burdens to an industry that is on its knees.
Look after us, because you won’t sell many tractors or collect much tax from us once we’ve gone.
Alternatively, if you can’t beat them, join them.
I’ve thought long and hard about setting up my own consultancy enterprise.
I could start being the price-setter and slowly sip on a coffee and home-made cake while the clock ticks into the next 10-minute block.
Unfortunately, my main skills sets seem to be getting the chainsaw stuck and napping, which probably won’t generate a huge level of interest.