Opinion: Just how close to reality will new farm tenancy TV show be?
Gallows Hill Farm © Big Circus Media I was intrigued to read of the National Trust’s latest farm letting plans in Northumberland, with accompanying TV cameras, a celebrity presenter and filming by a company called Big Circus Media.
At first glance, it seemed a slightly odd way to let a holding, but then Clarkson’s Farm was an unconventional look into agriculture and has been a resounding success in opening people’s eyes to what it is we actually do.
With this new reality TV programme, the cynic in me sees plenty of fresh-faced young couples, chosen from a suitably diverse cross-section of society, with contrived “cliffhangers” to keep the viewers going through the ad breaks.
See also: Two unique tenancies – save a dairy farm or be a TV star
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There will be sporadic emotional outbursts accompanied by suitable background music, followed by agonising pauses before the quivering contestants are told who’s going through to the next round…
As a veteran of more farm letting days than I care to remember, I wonder if the producers need some advice on authenticity.
The viewing day should definitely feature a pissed-off ex-tenant about to be chucked out, who has made no discernible effort to clear up the farm.
The yard should be blocked with jauntily parked pickups disgorging random neighbours dropping in for a nose around.
And just occasionally a member of the selection committee should put in an appearance, to share an oblique insight into their mindset.
Some prospective tenants will have brought the family, with perhaps a be-overalled senior citizen in tow, leaving the casual observer unsure whether he’s there for his wisdom or his wallet.
Harassed land agents, with particulars flying away in the unseasonal rainstorm, will attempt to answer a seemingly endless list of ignorant questions from the candidate who’s got to the front of the queue and is determined to show his or her keenness in the farm.
I clearly recall one National Trust viewing I attended as a prospective tenant many years ago. The farm was spotless, and everyone was incredibly welcoming.
Friendly staff and volunteers waxed lyrical about the many rare and important species on the farm, the management of rush pastures, wetland habitats and native cattle grazing – inexorably increasing the load of prescriptions the poor tenant would have to stick to.
Nobody was really talking about the farming and, after a while, I got the impression they were looking more for a park-keeper than an agricultural tenant – until I got to the land agent at the end, who started talking about market rents and comparable lettings and, by the way, the house would be let separately and on top of the tenancy.
The trust’s website was full of warnings to “act quickly if you want to rent one of our farms”. I acted quickly – and went to find a landlord who appeared keen to support a sustainable farming business instead.
But good luck to them. Applying for a farm is an emotional rollercoaster and takes a huge amount of effort.
Doing all that while trying to look suitably photogenic (and no doubt having to re-take every shot about 15 times without swearing) will be an epic test of endurance for anyone serious about this opportunity.
We do seem to be at peak demand for let farms – I just hope the demand doesn’t mean prospective tenants have to abandon all dignity to impress the Big Circus…