Mike Neaverson: Defra is talking ‘manure’

I don’t expect anyone to remember my Farmers Weekly column about fertiliser from a couple of months ago.

But either that or my similarly timed email must have done the trick because – fetch the popcorn – I am currently clutching a letter signed by non other than the column’s lead character, our Defra secretary, George Eustice MP. 

A Netflix-style catch-up follows. In early spring, Mr Eustice said on Farming Today that there is “no shortage” of organic manures to “replace all of the artificial fertilisers we use in the UK”. 

I questioned this claim using Defra’s own figures; for this to be true would actually require the guano equivalent of 2.5 billion extra laying hens.

In other words, a 37-egg omelette for every resident of the UK, every single day.

A simultaneous email asked Mr Eustice (who is still Defra secretary at the time of writing, but who knows for how much longer in this febrile political world) a number of direct questions relating to his statement.

And while I am, of course, grateful for any response, I might have preferred a reply that actually answered a single one of them.

See also: Mike Neaverson – Eustice’s fertiliser comment has got me stumped

The full letter is on my Twitter page, but – spoiler alert – the director’s cut is that the minister’s letter is a masterclass in greenwashing. 

Of course I agree that it’s possible to replace our artificial fertilisers with organic manures, which is the gist of the letter.

But what isn’t mentioned is that unless Mr Eustice intends to bend the laws of energy conservation, to do so will considerably reduce our agricultural output.

It’s this line that stood out for me, though: “The current shortage of inorganic fertilisers provides an opportunity for farmers …”

High feed prices do indeed provide an opportunity for livestock farmers – to go bust.

In a similar vein, perhaps, to how the sinking of the Titanic must have provided an opportunity for the resident string quartet to play to an increasingly concentrated audience. 

I’m being facetious. But Mr Eustice’s letter is a perfect illustration of this government’s agricultural trajectory.

Are we slowly saying goodbye to domestic production to be replaced by those oh-so-cheap imports? That can be my only conclusion. 

Hasta-la-vista, food security.