Elizabeth Elder is fed up with snow, but TB-free
It is officially spring and I know at least one person who will have switched their heating off on 21 March, because that is what they always do, come hell, high water or sub-zero temperatures. However, here in vernal upland Northumberland, the prevailing weather for the last month has been snow. We are all fed up with it and so are the sheep.
One creature felt so strongly that she made her way up the yard before making the ultimate gesture of ovine defiance by expiring outside the back door. Yet, the awful pictures of buried livestock elsewhere in the country put our situation into perspective. We have only got a few inches of snow. The sheep are mostly OK, they aren’t lambing yet and things could be a lot worse. On the positive side, the cattle passed their 60-day retest for TB without so much as the tiniest bump of any description. We subsequently heard that the lab tests for the original reactor had come back negative as well. So as we always believed (and hoped) we never had TB. What a worry and a pain it has been – not least on the cashflow front.
We were finally able to send a batch of steers to the mart a couple of weeks ago, marking the fact that normal service has been resumed. The army have been very busy on the range in recent weeks, with a major exercise involving self-propelled big guns. People tell me that the noise from the firing has been really loud, but I haven’t noticed. This is one of the few upsides of an ear infection that has rendered me temporarily deaf. The downside is when you are in conversation with someone who has just told you some really bad piece of news, you just smile inappropriately because you can’t pick up what they are saying (I’m really sorry about your dog, Sarah). And of course when Jake whispers sweet nothings, I hear sweet nothing.
The children have been engaged in various charitable events at school – the latest being for Red Nose Day. Earlier on in their careers there seemed to be a lot more sponsored events, but the law of diminishing returns has prevailed. These days fundraising mainly seems to comprise going to school in their own clothes and being charged a pound for the pleasure.
Durham University students tried something a bit more ambitious – erecting a giant red nose on the face of one of this county’s newest pieces of public art, ‘Northumberlandia’. This a recumbent, voluptuous, nude female, moulded from a large pile of clay from the adjacent open-cast mine. I drive past it when I take Julia to netball.
You really have to take your hat off to the planners and developers responsible for this wheeze. I can imagine the conversation went something like this: Planner: How are we going to stop the public from grumbling about having an open-cast mine on their door-step? Developer: We’ll distract them with a large naked woman. Planner: Just the job. There, readers, we have a template for anyone wanting to do something slightly controversial with their land.
If you want permission for a wind-farm why not suggest erecting a giant eco-friendly sculpture of a squirrel beside it. The objectors will love it and the local tourist board will welcome the proposed ‘Squirrel of the North’ as a big draw for visitors, bringing jobs, growth and prosperity to the local economy.
And finally, I have to announce that this will be my last Farmlife column, doubtless to the relief of my family who have spent the last three years in dread of embarrassing revelations. But before anyone starts celebrating, I should say that I am transferring to the Opinion section of the magazine. Thank you to everyone who has contacted me about my Farmlife articles, I have really appreciated your encouragement.
Elizabeth and husband Jake – who have two children, Julia and Archie – farm 235ha of hill ground on the Otterburn Firing Range in Northumberland. They have 520 breeding ewes and 30 suckler cows and went organic in 2001. Brought up on a dairy farm, Elizabeth is an accountant by training, with a background in corporate finance and business appraisal.
Wanted: New Farmlife columnist
Farmers Weekly is on the hunt for a new Farmlife columnist to write a monthly column.
Our new contributor will give readers a glimpse into their life in the countryside, with humour, sincerity and a fluent writing style.
They’ll share what’s keeping them busy, what’s making them laugh, what’s making them pull their hair out, what their other half is up to, what the kids have been doing (if applicable), plus their thoughts on general farming and rural issues.
Farmlife’s current columnist, Elizabeth Elder, is joining our rota of Opinion writers – creating this rare and exciting opportunity for a new Farmlife contributor.
Anyone who lives on a farm is eligible to enter, so this could be your chance to follow the footsteps of such favourites as Bella Hall, Judith Morrow, Chrissie Green and Suzie Paton.
You don’t have to have had work previously published – but this is a paid position and we are looking for someone who can meet deadlines and write about subjects with which readers will empathise.
How to enter
Write an article of no more than 500 words on one of the following topics:
‘What keeps me up at night’ or ‘What’s on my kitchen table’
You might want to try to make us laugh, make us cry or make us think – but the article should give us a sense of what life’s like for you.
Email your entry to fwfarmlife@rbi.co.uk, along with a few words (these can be extra to the 500) telling us a bit about yourself and why you’d make a great FW contributor.
The closing dates for entries is Friday 3 May, 2013.